Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Slapgate - Sree's finest performance

Hi, it has been a while since I wrote anything in my blog but this mouth watering, juicy incident has given me more than enough reason to come out of my hiatus.

Ok, this is how it started:

Sree: We won!!! Yeah... In your face... Loser.. Loser (does a jig) (---> Vidyuth)

Bhajji : This is bat, that's your mouth, if you don't shut up, I'll shove it down your throat.

Sree (clenching his teeth like a 'maa ki' retorts) : O yeah? O yeah? (has the intellectual capacity of a peanut)

This continues for a while.

Finally, Bhajji loses his cool and begs Sree to shut up cos frankly, he'd rather rootuvitufy Preity (---> Vidyuth). But Sree, the 6th standard bully that he is, refuses to relent. Now realizing that this is Bhajji's weak point, he starts sledging over and over again, and starts singing his favorite Tamil song, the T. Rajendar hit,

"Vaada yen machi,
Vaazhaika Bhajji,
Un odamba pichchu,
Potuduvein Bhajji.

E dandanaka danakunaka diyaan diyaan dish."

Bhajji complains to the umpire, Amish Saheba (the Sharad Powar look-alike) that Sree is abusing him by calling him vegetable names. Amish promptly asks Sree to behave himself else he'll report him to the Press (the BCCI is just a dummy organization, the Press runs everything). Sree does not understand big words like 'behave', 'report' and 'the', so he didn't give a damn what Amish said to him. He continued in his quest to cry like a cute little girl and Bhajji had no choice but to give him what he wanted in order to stop the madness. 'Phatak' - one slap on the cheek of Sreesanth (though none of the news agencies were allowed to telecast it, what gives??). Sree was quick enough to realize that he could use this as a platform to vault himself into Bollywood for his masterful performance as 'the macho man with a sensitive heart'. I'm assuming that Bhajji slapped him on his cheek cos Sree was clutching it like as though he was trying to cover a zit. The irritating part was how he made it a point to cry on every team member's shoulder before Sangakkara asked him to make a move cos Preity Zinta felt that his acting might become a serious threat to her career and the roles that she might bag. Sree finally left the scene (he wasn't sobbing so much now cos he knew that camera was not focusing on him anymore).

However, the madness does not end here. Sree gave some interviews post the incident and this is what he had to say to the news channels.

Sree speaking to

Asianet: I don't know why he slapped me the way he did. It was totally uncalled for, I don't deserve such treatment. It was a slugfest.

Times Now: Bhajji had every right to do what he did. It wasn't even a slap. It was just a shove in the wrong place (God alone knows what he meant, I'm sure he doesn't)

Asianet: He is like my elder brother. I'm just so heartbroken. I wish proper punishment is meted out to him.

Times Now: He is like my elder brother. I have absolutely no problem with the way he behaved. I do not wish to press charges. I probably deserved it.

Sree's behavior has completely erased any possible feeling of remorse I might have felt for him because of Bhajji's actions. On the other hand, it was utterly foolish of Bhajji to let his emotions get the better of him under circumstances where other people (barring Zinedine Zidane) would have just left it at that.

All in all, 'Slapgate - Sree's Gateway to Bollywood'.


vidyuth said...

awesome concept.. keep up the good work da.. and i'll continue chipping in.. :D

Subash Shekar said...

dude.. awe-e-some.. ur writing s gone a long way man.. i still cant stop laughing after reading some of the lines.. how did u get it this way, the humour i mean.. too good.. in de "be careful wat u wish for....." and this.. keep writing man..

Saranya said...

Hey absolutely funny and brilliantly written... Loking forward to more...

sv said...

Hey Vishnu! reading your blog for the first time. brilliant!